Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
