im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize