I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
