brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
