1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
