I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. Thatβs how you end up in the ER
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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