You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
they're like a gay fantastic four
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
