Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
