Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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