the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
