These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
