they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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