what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
