I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
