I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
