I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
