Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
