My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Randomize
