butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
