i jhust puked up my retainher.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
