No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I could fuck to npr.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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