He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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