I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
