Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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