I want to have your abortion
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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