i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
