I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so let's talk penis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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