so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
