maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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