She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
