did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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