your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
