I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
