We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
