I forgot how hot balto sounded
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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