ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
