Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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