Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
