Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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