It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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