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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do u remember buying that

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨

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