you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
