well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When did angry sex become our thing?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
