real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
