you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
