Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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