We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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