i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
