I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh god it's open bar.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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