so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
