I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
