oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
