so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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