I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
