it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
