...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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