I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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