It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
