Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
