Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
