airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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