I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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