STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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