There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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